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Crush? Not really.
A guy who worked with me made me think he had a crush on me. He treated me differently from other people. He was exceptionally kind to me. But, to my surprise, a girl who also worked with me, told me that she knew he liked her and she sort of liked him back too. I was caught off guard, frankly. They started coming to me for advice and low-key asked me to hook them up. I was stuck in between my own feelings and my dignity. At first, I felt a deep betrayal that I was not the one he needed. I doubted my own judgment and was depressed for days. He and I went out twice and I thought there was something special between us but maybe I was wrong. Learned it the hard way by the way. After a long night, I decided to confront him. I asked him the next day if he had feelings for the girl. He gave me that look of frightening and being busted, that I knew too damn well the answer I always wanted to know. I hooked them up, in the end. I know, I was being a coward but you know what? Isn't that all about? Sacrificing for others? Maybe I was just being stupid, maybe that was just who I was you know?
Whenever I saw them working together and smiling at each other, a little hole inside my body gradually became bigger and bigger. I just felt this sharp pain and I wanted to throw up. I did not mention anything about the other to him or her when I talked to them. It was short but it was something. It was a blur but it was there. Whatever the truth was or whatever the reasons for him to treat me like that, I didn't appreciate the fact that he was fucking toying with my feelings. |
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